National Rowing Stereotypes : the English

Distinguished colleagues might recall a thread on rsr about national rowing stereotypes. It's perhaps not wholly inappropriate that I've actually done something 6 months later. Too late anyway to put on rsr

The Institute for Low Performance Rowing have been commissioned by the international rowing community to add to the body of knowledge recently generated on rec.sport.rowing about national stereotypes. Years of participant observation in rowing club bars up and down the country have yielded the following insights :

Unlike effeminate North Americans who stop rowing for half the year, the English rower will be on the river in all weathers, irrespective of the risks of gales, fog, floods, ice etc. This is not a tribute to the benign nature of the climate, more the incurable optimism of the English about the weather.

The English rower arrives at the crumbling semi-derelict boathouse, which has been in continuous use since 1588, when a four and a pair were dispatched to defeat the Spanish Armada. Sensibly, he changes in his car, as the toilets and showers are mediaeval in their age and squalor. In North America, plumbing of this kind would constitute cruelty to farm animals.

The coach will not direct the crew as such, more make some vague suggestions along the lines of, "I wondered if, if it's not too much trouble, do you think you might possibly consider doing, Oh, I don't know, maybe 90 minutes of UT1 ?" The crew will apologise, and then whinge about the outing plan when the coach is safely out of earshot ; but do it anyway.

The outing will grind to a halt when the cox inadvertently makes a double entendre, the crew having been rendered incapable of rowing by an outbreak of sniggering.

The general air of diffidence and politeness is only breached at the club's Annual Dinner, when, having consumed the European wine lake, English inhibitions are (temporarily) reduced. The crew will train the next day, despite hog-whimpering hangovers. The only mention that will be made of the previous night's events will be some mumbled vague apologies ; in other words, things are back to normal.