Bow: A maniac. Even the rest of the crew think him strange. Wouldn't listen to cox even if he had his hearing aid on. Cox is quite frightened of him.
2: There for the ride. Was never good. Is fat. Gets the beer in
3: The Coach Has finally accepted that he is too old to row Senior, and now lives life vicariously through the Juniors he coaches. However, he is still tempted by thoughts of glory, and so rows with the Vets. Will try (against all dictates of reason) to coach a group of five 14-year-old scullers from the 3 seat of the eight. Net results ? Junior scullers fall in, go over the weir etc. due to lack of supervision, and cox of Vet VIII gets very cross due to being told constantly to stop the boat, wait for juniors at lock etc. His rowing colleagues take the view that as he is no more disruptive than, for instance, Bow The Maniac, they will tolerate him.
4: Old. REALLY old. His technique is by now incompatible with his (crumbling) body, and with the rest of the crew, but he keeps the average age up, and thus enables the crew to race Veteran C.
5: Still God. Huge. Naturally talented. Naturally fit. The rest of crew tolerate him because he once slept with Valerie Singleton's sister and they are curious.....
6: The Ageing Superstar. Once reached the semi-final of the Thames Cup (about 1972), and has lived on the past glory ever since. Never actually quite as good as he thought he was, and as time goes by, "The older he gets, the better he was".
7: The one who wants to row. Knows the erg scores of all his opponents. And their ex-wives' names and telephone numbers.
Stroke: Very strange kit Stroke is the apotheosis of the "veterans with minging kit phenomenon" and demonstrates most of the sartorial faux pas for which veterans are rightly a by-word.. Towelling shorts that have gone soggy and are now held up with a pair of braces. Those really nasty Helly Hansen long johns (in peach, or electric blue). Old rugby kit from the 1970s. Why do vets of all people wear those shiny leggings ? Weird cycling-related gear. Anoraks. Vets are habitués of the "£5 Bargain Bin" on the Spartan stand, and, frankly, they look like it. Though vets may argue that being older, their kit has had more time to get tatty, younger rowers claim that vets have more money, and can thus afford to replace the tat they row in. Whereas younger rowers will be faced with kit dilemmas like "which piece of skimpy lycra best shows off my massive lats/flat stomach/fabulous figure ?", vets will be more concerned with " How do I disguise my beer gut ?"
Cox Roped into coxing by his/her Dad. Thinks that Dad is very sad, but that Dad's mates are sad with the addition of weird. Only agrees to cox if bribed with under-age beer drinking in the club bar afterwards, or as a way of avoiding maths homework while maintaining parental approval. Quite fancies one of the junior scullers coached by The Coach, but presence of Embarrassing Dad prevents any attempt to strike up a conversation with said sculler.
Dr. Stephen Timmons & Andrew Blit