The path to Leander starts with a falling-in (unless you're a girl in which case a Hoover is probably your best bet)
Complete your UT2 erg as you would peel a carrot, smoothly and whilst watching Eastenders
Lo, the Mandate of Heaven has descended upon your coach, and to displease him would be to dishonour your ancestors
Imitate the action of the Mighty Swan for he sure makes the scullers f*** off out of the way
Do not despise the Novice for her inability to sit the boat ; for who is to say that she will not blossom into Miriam Batten ?
In order to get one's blade out at the finish, first one must put it in at the catch
He who can steer will most certainly win S3 2-
Buddha was sitting beneath a tree when an acolyte came to him and said: "Master, why are you not racing at Notts City?" Buddha smiled, pointed to the tree and said "When 3,000 of these have grown at Holme Pierrepoint I'll consider it"
A student went to the Zen Master and said, "Master, who should I row for ?" The Zen Master replied, "Visit many clubs, but row for one where you're guaranteed a seat in the Eights Head crew"
A student went to Buddha, and said, "Master, where is the Henley Veterans' Regatta finish line ?" The Buddha replied, "Ken-San thinks it is at Remenham Club, Mike-San thinks it is at Upper Thames." The student persisted, "But where do you think it is, Master ?" The Buddha replied," When you are no longer physically capable of pulling another stroke, then you have reached the finish line"
The Novice came up to the Master and said "I know I frequently go deep and Steve Redgrave says this is because my gate may have the wrong pitch. Master, lend me your pitch gauge" The Master smiled and replied "This bar stool is at a bad angle, lend me your book and I shall set my chair-leg upon it. Then we will have a fitting use for it"
The Student approached the Master one day with a sincere jollity
"Master," he said, "I have been walking the path to Enlightenment for many
years now, when shall I reach Henley?"
The Master smiled and replied kindly
"You are no nearer now, than when I first saw you"
"But Master," cried the student, "it has been a long road"
"Perhaps you have been walking in the wrong direction. Now that you have
walked so far your feet may be ready to carry you forward"
"Master, how shall I proceed ?"
"Now that you have learnt to walk, you must learn to run like the cheetah"
"Master I do not understand, what does running like an endangered pussy cat
have to do with anything?"
"You row well, young Aidan, your walk is your regatta start, now you must learn to run alongside Nottingham Boat Club Elite 2-"
"Master, what must I do ?"
"Pull harder"
"Master I pull with all my strength"
"Get stronger"
"How, Master?"
"Do many weights and long ergs"
"But Master, I want to go rowing"
"For true Enlightenment you must lift weights for many months and erg for
even longer"
"But Master, Qualifying is in 3 weeks"
"Then I believe that Trevor has some tickets for the enclosures on Friday and I suggest that WATCHING some rowing may be your path to Enlightenment"
Hope springs like green buds.
Henley Goblets first round draw,
It's Leander. Bum
Catch like breaking ice
Not like flowering daisy
Video will show
Sun high in the sky
Rowers are dehydrated
2k time is slow
Travel hopefully,
Though winter training went well
Lea win by 8 lengths
Cricket on the green
Barbecue at Peterborough
Coach dropped you last month
Hot weeks pass without
A pot. But still try your luck
At Cambridge Autumn
Dr. Stephen Timmons & Andrew Blit